Sacrifices in Marriage

    A happy woman was one who could exercise all kinds of rights, from the right to move to the right to create, compete, and challenge, and at the same time could feel loved for doing so. Part of happiness was to be loved by a man who enjoyed your strength and was proud of your talents. Happiness was also about the right to privacy, the right to retreat from the company of other and plunge into contemplative solitude. Or to sit by yourself doing nothing for a whole day, and not give excuses or feel guilty about it either.


   But questions do come up, Do the woman feel happy after the marriage? What are the things a woman should sacrifice in marriage? How to manage the feelings after sacrificing in marriage?


   Basically, these are the things a woman have to make sacrifices of after marriage:


1) Time


If during your single days, you can hang up late and wake up in the afternoon doing nothing/ watching tv all day long/ hang up 7 days in a week with girlfriends doing shopping>>> Just Please Forget about That. As a wife or more specific to say, a daughter-in-law, things are different. More worst if you're staying in your in laws' house. Im suppose you wouldn't like being marked as lazy by your in-laws? muahahaha.. Im suppose you girls also dont want your husband to wake up earlier than you and go wondering around bored because his wife isn't woke up yet!? haha, funny but its true. 


So, in order to manage your time wisely, have a time table done and stick to the daily routine. Discipleship  is the key word. Remember that you have to spend less time for friends, more for your family. Lift up your cute ass and be little more hardworking in helping your in-laws in the kitchen. Perhaps, you will one day in your old days wanting a good daughter in laws by yourself!kan kan? So, in meanwhile layan aje la. 


2) Career

If in your single days, you are free like a bird to fly anywhere/ to dine with anybody about work >> Just Please Forget about That. You're married now, and all your decisions should be discussed with your lovely husband. If you're born as a workaholic/ you're born and forced to work 24 hours, make sure that your husband do understand you and your job. I personally less advising couples that had been married to work separately. I mean, if you're working at Terengganu, then you're husband working in Johore, please do expect  problems ahead. It will be a challenging marriage and it will be a thoughtful/wonderful ones, it all depends on how you couple handle the challenges.

So, in order to have a happy marriage life, do put family as priority and your career as the second ones. Manage your career wisely. If you are lucky to be given choices, choose the career that suits you and your family situation. Remember that career will come and go, but your family is the one and only. Once you loose them, you'll be loosing them forever. Sedeh nye..

3) Love

As a married woman/daughter, your 100% love  to your husband, not to your parents anymore. By this, I didnt meant that you have to hate your parents/no more love towards them! My point is, your priority in love is your husband. Although its hard and sad to say this, but this is what reality requires, thats why its Love Sacrifice. Love's priority should be dedicated to your husband + with/without your children, and then come only your parents and your family. And then comes the bonus ones, your husband's parents and his family. This is what real marriage are. To me, Love Sacrifice is the hardest sacrifices eva to made because its all about feelings.

So, in order to manage Love Sacrifices well, train yourself in loving those with your full and sincere heart. Remember to always forgive and forget in whatever situation. Always do stuff together, eg asking your sisters and mom in-law out for shopping,etc in order for you and them to be closer. Be wise in tackling your parents heart to avoid them feeling lost of you. Always ring your parents/parents in law asking how they are. Or if you 're having more time, do regularly visit them.

4) Emotions

Ani didnt talk to her mom inlaw for a month now! or Cik Adik sms her sis inlaws with bad words and she replied the same! >>Gush, emotional error. Family conflicts are very common to be happened. In laws hate each other, mom in laws hates her daughter/son in laws/ a husband sister hates her husband's wife, etc.. Which to me, semua adalah kerja Syaitan Nirrajim.

So, to have a peaceful and harmony family, do always tolerate, forgive and forget. Well, not everybody is perfect, thus everybody does mistakes. Dont put yourself in a danger situation like backing up A but not B or talking bad thing about B to C,etc. Always talk good things about others ( although there are actually more bad things to say, haha ). When somebody is telling u bad things about other family members, always cool them down, advise them and telling good things about the person talking and the bad family members whom she/he talked about. Do give some positive solution for their relationship.

5) Skills

If before you are a bad and lousy cook/ a bad person in arranging and managing your stuff, you have to learn a lot of skills once youre married. Learn from your mother/ mother in laws/friends/or you can even learn a lot from the internet. Its worth learning. Without you noticing, you are getting better each day ;)


The most important of all, dont forget to always pray to Allah that everything will always goes smooth. Remember that happiness comes from Allah and Allah is The Most Loving of all.

Here are one of the dua:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا Maksudnya : "Wahai Tuhan kami, berilah kami beroleh dari isteri-isteri dan zuriat keturunan kami: perkara-perkara yang menyukakan hati melihatnya, dan jadikanlah kami imam ikutan bagi orang-orang yang (mahu) bertaqwa" (Al-Furqaan : 74) Good luck you girls, InsyaALLAH with a sincere niah, Allah will guide us all. Muahmuah!